COMMON SENTIMENTS of a WOMAN

Some men don’t feel that they frequently hurt their partners… A man could hurt his wife unconsciously but most of the time, some men do it intentionally. Whatever it is, both could just make their relationship failed at the end…

Why does a woman feel so exasperated with her husband? I think there are some reasons why a woman feels this way... One of them is lack of communication even they are just living in one roof. This could make them both possibly numb, especially her husband... Knowingly that men are naturally less impressionable or vulnerable than women. The other one, a woman feels that she’s not important to her husband because instead of having a romantic conversation, they always talk about bills and what are they going to eat for the coming days which usually make the latter feels so irritated. Perhaps the husband is the breadwinner and his partner is just a plain housewife. But I think that would not be a valid reason for him to take his wife for granted. Women are delicate or more sensitive and sentimental than men. A man must know how to handle his woman for a good and everlasting relationship. So guys, don’t let your wives feel that you don’t really care about them anymore…That all you cared and think about is your financial situation and you allowed it to control your behavior in a way that it will make you feel so upset and desperate. Money must not be an issue in a relationship.

This is just what I usually observed between a man and a woman… When the wife tries to ask her husband what is the real score between them, the latter gets so aggravated. His usual dialogue is; "what are you talking about?"

One of my female friends shared her sentiments about her husband… She told me that her man talks to her like she is stupid with a very little respect. "Akala ko ang napangasawa ko ay ang siyang magiging katuwang ko sa hirap at ginhawa habang buhay...A man who will make me happy and complete as a woman but I was wrong. I may be looked good and poised but I lied to myself because deep inside I am terribly lonely and slowly dying. I feel sick mentally, emotionally and physically", she narrated. Obviously, there’s no more harmony in their relationship which I believed my buddy doesn’t truly deserved because she does her part as her husband’s partner and a mother of their kids. She gives him all the moral support he needed but still, it is not enough and never appreciated. In a relationship, “give and take” is a MUST.

This is a big question in my mind… Why there are men who don’t understand the wants or the needs of their partners?

Special Mom for a Special Child

Being a mother of an exceptional child is no joke. It’s really a big responsibility that God gave to parents especially mothers. I, as a mother of 13 year old exceptional child do extra things for him. I may consider myself (as self-reward) as special in my own way because my child is uniquely special. I’ve been so busy doing what is necessary to help my child and give my best and effort for his precious life.

I’m setting up my own interests aside to help with his homework, no matter what the hour. When he is feeling low and throwing tantrums, I always comfort him at the time when he felt ready to give up. I see to it that for him, I am not only his mother but his most important teacher also. Most of the time, I feel that I have to continually wage a war to go through simple activities of day-to-day living just like teaching my child even on how to brush his teeth properly and fix his things like books and bed. I might say that life becomes a continuous struggle, not only for the child, but also for a parent like me. I gave up my job and career to give my full time support to my child and handle the situation and most of all is to take care of him and defend him from his detractors. Raising a child with disability is a big challenge… But I have to face bravely my child's limitations and turning them into opportunities for his growth and maturity.

Here in the Philippines, many people have misconception about special child. They don’t understand that anyone who is not in the normal level of thinking would be considered as SPED. Not only the mentally retarded, autistic, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and the children with learning disability could be labeled as special child but also the gifted child because of his/her high extreme of mental ability and talents which obviously are not in the normal level.Many times I have encountered different people with same reactions especially when they saw my child is smiling for no reason… I heard some comments, criticisms and insults on my son. And I thank God for giving me the courage to confront people who do not have my child's interests in mind. I even learned how to deal with awkward comparisons and criticisms from family and acquaintances who do not understand or value my child's differences… Masakit pero kailangang tanggapin, harapin at labanan ang lahat ng reactions o sasabihin at iisipin nila tungkol sa anak ko na marahil ay dahil sa kanilang kakulangan ng pang unawa, kakulangan ng kaalaman tungkol sa ‘exceptional child’ o maaring dala na lamang ng kakitiran ng kanilang pag iisip o maaari ding paninira na lamang sa kanilang kapwa dala ng labis na inggit o di kaya naman ay likas na katabilan na lamang ng kanilang mga dila. Ngunit sa aking palagay, talagang mahal kami ng Diyos dahil binigyan kami ng ganitong klase ng responsibilidad sa kabila ng aming financial na kalagayan dahil hindi naman kami mayaman. Siguro nga mapalad kami dahil kami ay espesyal sa paningin ng Ama kaya kami ay kanyang binigyan nang espesyal na anak…There are many hardships you can pass through in raising and guiding a special child. Bilang ina at guro ng iyong anak kelangan ng tibay ng dibdib at higit sa lahat patience and love upang maging magaan ang pag aaruga ng isang espasyal na bata.

Kunsabagay, according to my child’s developmental pediatrician, his case is just mild but expect that there would be times that some characteristics of an ADHD with Autism will still manifest on him. As a parent, I might stick on guiding force for my child's education until she can manage it for himself. I will continue to help him through social experiences with support and understanding. As long as I am here, I will never stop encouraging my child to develop strengths and nurture his talents in things he enjoys. For me, knowing when to support and when to let my child meet his own challenges is very important. Being at peace with who my child is and not who others think he should be is what I always think of…As long as I and my husband are still alive, we will try to create a warm and supportive home which our child truly deserves.

• In case you are on my shoe? What you’ll gonna do?

 • If you have a special child like mine, how can you protect him/her from people who are giving criticisms or comments?  

• Could you have enough courage to confront those who are secretly smiling or laughing at your child which apparently it doesn’t matter if they hurt you or what reactions you might have either?

Not in the Mood

Why does woman say; “Not now, honey, I’m just not in the mood?” Is that because her partner forgot to tell how attractive and desirable she is? Or his man doesn’t know that she also needs non-sexual foreplay like playing and having good laugh together that eventually leads to some very serious lovemaking.

Oh guys, bear this in your mind… Man and woman are really different when it comes to sex or lovemaking. You must know how to recognize that women get aroused in a different way. Many men get sexually turned on so quickly and without much stimulation while most women take longer especially as they get older.

Maging Tunay at Totoo

Maraming bulaang propeta... Mga pekeng mangangaral ng Salita ng Diyos... At mga taong nag aanyong maka Diyos ngunit wala sa puso o hindi lubos na sila ay may dalisay na kalooban...

Sa ating pangangalat ng Salita ng Diyos at mga aral ng Panginoong Jesucristo sa Bibliya ay dapat muna natin itong isapamuhay bago ito ay ating ipamahagi sa iba... Kailangan ay atin munang i evaluate ang ating mga sarili upang malaman kung ito ba ay totoong ating naisasapamuhay... Nang sa gayon ay maniwala sa atin ang mga tao... lalo na ang mga taong pinapagpakitaan natin ng pagkainis, pag iwas at pagpatay-malisya sa kanila kahit halos sa araw-araw ay atin naman silang nakakasalubong... Sana ay makita sa atin ang liwanag at ito ay makita ng ating kapwa sa atin ng sa gayon ay kasihan nga tayo ng Ama at ibuhos sa atin ang Kanyang pagpapala...

Mahalin natin ang ating kapwa at matuto tayong umunawa sa mga bagay na hindi naman nila ginustong mangyari. At higit sa lahat ay ang matutunan natin ang pagpapatawad kung sila man ay nagkulang o nagkasala sa atin... Humingi man sila ng tawad o tuwirang hindi humingi ng paumanhin sa atin... Huwag natin silang husgahan o iwasan na para bang sila ay may mga nakahahawang sakit o dili naman kaya ay parang hindi natin sila lubos na nakikilala kahit makasalubong natin sila sa daan o maging dito sa FS man na tila ba wala tayong anumang pinagsamahan...

Sayang lamang ang ating pagpapagal kung tayo ay hindi magiging tunay at totoo sa paningin ng ating kapwa lalo na sa mata ng ating Amang Lumikha. Saliksikin muna natin ang ating mga sarili at baka tayo ay nagkakasala sa Diyos nang hindi natin namamalayan dahil sa paggamit o pamamahagi natin ng Kanyang Salita subalit hindi naman natin sinusunod ang kanyang utos o kalooban...

Gabayan nawa tayong lahat ng Diyos sa araw araw ng ating buhay at sa pakikisalamuha sa ating kapwa... sa personal man o maging dito sa FS din! :D

No Moral Support!

Since childhood I never felt that I am important to my relatives … As far as I know, I am not stubborn and rude but obedient and respectful… the reasons I asked myself why I didn’t catch my relatives’ attention and affection. Ano ba ang kulang?

When I was young, I didn’t see their presence during my graduation day (elementary and high school), recognition day, contests in school, santacruzan etc... But if it’s about my first cousins’ activities and events, they were all present and giving their full moral support. They just could see me if they would ask me a favor like “linisin mo ito etc, bumili ka nga sa tindahan nito etc, pumunta ka nga kay ganito blah blah blah… What’s worst, they didn’t know how to appreciate what I have done to them nor even I heard the word “thank you”. There were times na pag di tumama ang utos nila, masakit na salita pa ang inaabot ko… tanga daw ako etc… Perhaps, these are the reasons kung bakit lumayo ang loob ko sa kanila.

But now that I am matured enough, I tried to patch up something to become close to them at inisip ko na baka ako pa rin ang nagkulang… But until now, I didn’t get moral support from them… Nothing ever changes!

Recently, my sympathy and moral support goes to them when their lives were in trouble and they were at the saddest time of their lives… I would like them to feel that they are important to me. I knew that they have appreciated what I have done and it really made me smile…The reason why what they have done to me since childhood were all vanished.

But now that I am in trouble, as I expected, I didn’t get moral support from anyone of them… I am just floating alone in the air and nobody would like to catch me now that I am falling down slowly. They are the elders in the family, they must do something to settle or to solve the ordeal I am undergoing now. O kahit payuhan man lang sana nila ako kung ano ang dapat kong gawin at hindi iyung sabihin na lang nila na ako na ang bahala at ayaw nilang makialam. Even my parents and my siblings have no mouth to speak or sad to say they don’t have backbones to settle down the trouble between me and my sister. All I have to do is to decide for myself, kesehodang makarating na kami sa korte… I understand my parents if they could not give me moral support… I could not blame them because they are both sickly and old.

Two months ago, I have encountered trouble with my sister regarding my confrontation with her husband on slanderous act about me and my family. I don’t know if there’s a regret in what I have done, but for sure, I do not know where my revelation and confrontation would lead me especially when I don’t get moral support from my family and relatives. I just felt sad that they wouldn’t be affected of this trouble. I am expecting that the only thing that might keep my morale soaring are the continued support of my immediate family and close relatives but unfortunately wala sila nito. Mahirap lang kasi ang tatay at nanay ko kaya di nila kami o ako paborito. Marahil kung ako ay anak ng isang maykaya o 'nag aangat angatan sa buhay', they might be in a full force para suportahan ako o tulungang maayos ang gulong ito…

I think I am a kind of person who was trapped by an unfortunate circumstance. How lucky I am to have a very unsupportive family and relatives!!!

But the truth, I just felt so unfortunate being a “neglected pamangkin” knowing that these relatives of mine are protecting and giving their special attention to my cousins whose reputations are under questions also. They could not see the one being troubled, intimidated and needed help. Palagi na lamang ganito magmula pa nun bata ako hanggang sa ngayon... 

They have to bear in mind that life is like a wheel… Probably the time will come and they would realize that something like shaky-situation, would wake up to the fact that, “ang mga taong pinagwalang bahala nila eh kakailanganin din pala nila.” Well, that will be definitely no GOOD!

Parental Favoritism and Its Effect

How often have you heard a child complain, “But that’s not fair! He always gets his own way”? Although it is difficult for parents to admit that they do not love all their children alike, that would be an impossible situation. You cannot love all your children alike. I have made some parents quite angry with me by insisting on that. They want to believe that if they have three children, they see them all alike, love them all alike and feel they are all equal. But that is just not the way life is.

Favoritism not only occurs in the stepfamily situation where a parent favors a biological child over a stepchild, but also occurs in first families when a child can be given preferential treatment based purely on gender. Parental favoritism not only affects the children, but also causes conflict within the parents’ relationship. Some parents (particulary in the Filipino family) are giving preferential treatment to a child when they are just treating them differently according to their individual personalities and interests.” It will lead to a rift that will be deepened over the years. The child might feel that he is increasingly rejected, so he would be hated his favored brother or sister. A neglected child might have to compete for his father or mother’s affection.

According to Dr Caron Goode, Inspirational Speaker and Author of Help Kids Cope with Stress & Trauma says, “Favored children tend to have better self esteem, yet can also be spoiled and manipulative. These children may think the world owes them a living. On the other hand, with healthy self-esteem, they could tend to be high achievers and do well. Disfavored children tend to have lower self-esteem, which can either make them try harder or give up too easily. Trying to please is one of the characteristics that might make them either compliant or rebellious. It can go either way, depending upon the temperament of the child.”