How can I help my child on his journey through puberty with good preparation? He has some developmental changes like having sexual urges, pubic hair and armpit hair which normally starts at the age of 13. Lately, he is experiencing some strange feelings that he doesn’t really understand. One time he told me: “Mom, why when I see sexy girls on TV, I feel something but I don’t understand? I don’t want to feel this way eh.” I felt so sad that very moment because my little boy is now experiencing sexual urges but because he is a special child, he doesn’t know how to ease his urges just like what other teens do. How can I help him feel comfortable?
I just want to encourage him to talk about his strange feelings… Discuss to him that it is just normal to feel sexual feelings… Let him know that the way he feels is common… That there are times it may be appropriate and preferable to masturbate. Yes, as his mother, I want him to do masturbation because I feel so pity on him. But how can I explain that in a loving way without causing my child guilt or shame. Even my husband doesn’t know what to do or what are the steps he’ll gonna do to encourage our child to masturbate.
It's amazing watching him in an image of a young man but at the same time I fear that I may lose my little man! I’m just wandering what if he gets to the point where he doesn't need me anymore? Well, I have to convince myself that --- time flies! So, just cherish every moment…
Oh my God, my little boy is no longer a baby!
Oh my God, my little boy is no longer a baby!
Hi Mariel,
ReplyDeleteAbbey here. I had two sons--both close to me and open to me; they're like my barkadas and I relate myself with them as a friend.
The maasturbation issue you dealt was real and from parent to parent it is being handled differently. I'm not inclined to win you to my side of thinking, but I'm kinda excited to share what I've been through.
I don't encourage my sons to masturbate. I trained them to recycle their sexual urge to understanding what's pure--that women are God's creation, that women should be respected and protected, and does not deserve to be lusted upon.
Suggested hobbies.
Suggested approaches to render healthy their interactions with women or girls of their age.
Told them what what they see on TV and on DVDs in the Internet about women are the same tits and cunt that their mother and sister have.
Told them that if they treat mom and sis with respect because they are weonderful and beautiful God's creations, they should afford the same treatment to other women.
Showed that God is soooo good in creating boobs and tits and cunt of different shaples and appearances that there is a holy purpose for their use.
Taught them sex is God-supplied, but their organs are not meant for lust. They're meant for pro-creation with utmos responsibility. They're meant for sex when they're married. In God's plan their penises are God's instruments, that there is something holy about using them.
Taught them that every time they hold their penises to urinate, they must bear in mind God's expectation over their use in sexual intercourse outside marriage and in masturbation in which the respect they ought to have in girls are denigrated or downgraded.
From many times I drilled the teaching they were able to learn, thanks be to God who gave me the courage and the principles to implant them. It was scary, difficult, challenging. But I have no choice.
If I teach the wrong notion, I'll harvest the violent fruits of error.
Teaching what's right and decent and ethical and acceptable before God's eyes was my only option.
As for you, there's still time to teach your son. Separately your husband and you will make a great difference in his understanding of his sexuality.
Masturbation will only make him feel guilty. His repeated guilt over the images of women he imagined to have sex with will ONLY make him even more guilty. The feeling of gratification when he ejaculates in his hand will render his sexual character more hideous and secretive. Soon he will have neurosis; he will become a closet neurotic; his views on sex will be perverted; he might even go perverse or become a pervert himself. Once this stage is reached, he will disrespect women and violate them sexually---on account of an irresistible urge. God forbids, but that would be rape--a grievous end result that could have been avoided if we only taught our kids the right lessons.
I appreciate your honesty :-)
Hope this helps.
Abbey