GOODBYE, MY BELOVED NANAY!!!

Mothers are not rare to find. Good mothers are. I considered my NANAY as one of them. In fact, she’s the BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD…

I can still remember when I was a child, she always buys me dolls and kitchen set toys, hair laces and pins, beautiful clothes and shoes/sandals, etc. She always braids my long hair or put a headband on it to make me look cute and pretty. As I grew up, she's always with me especially during special school events like declamation contest, IQ contest, balagtasan contest, beauty contest, santacruzan, etc. My mother defied all odds just to watch me performed in a stage play and said to herself’ "That's my daughter!!!” She kept on saying; “MAS MAGALING SA KANILA ANG ANAK KO or MAS MAGANDA TALAGA ANG ANAK KO.” She protected me and argued with anybody pag alam nyang naaargabyado ako… There were times I lose in a contest but she would just say, “HAYAAN MO NA ANAK MAS MAGALING KA NAMAN SA KANILA KAHIT SILA ANG NANALO.” But when I won, the whole barangay knew my victory dahil sa pagmamalaki ni NANAY.

She loved and treated her children equally. I am second to the eldest… I have seen all her sacrifices as a mother... I can still remember that she was just sitting on bed and leaning her back on a pillow while one of my siblings were lying on her arms. She kept awake all night when my younger sisters or brother were sick. Wala talagang makakapantay sa pagmamahal ng isang ina sa kanyang anak…

Many things remind me of my mother. She loved nature. I guess I got that from her. She was enthusiastic about most everything that grew especially vegetable plants. I didn't realize until she was gone how much she knew about all kinds of vegetable plants and fruit trees. Kaya pala mula noong bata ako and dami niyang tanim na gulay sa bakuran ng aming bahay sa palaisdaan at maging sa mga pilapil man ay meron din. She was enjoying picking tamarind, guava and camachile fruits in our backyard in the fishpond.

Days gone by and many things have been changed… We didn’t have a choice but to leave her as well as my father because we, their children got married and live with our own family. We visited them so often but it was really different from living together under the same roof.

Last past couple of years, she got sick… She suffered from diabetes and hypertension. She kept on complaining of body aches… Until the time came that the carousel of God had fetched her. Saturday was a tragic day for my family… Although, I asked God several times to take my NANAY’s life as earlier as He can, so that she would feel no pain anymore. The more we saw her moaning due to pain, mas nahihirapan ang aming kalooban. Pero kahit pala handa ka sa pagdating ng kanyang kamatayan, hindi pa rin pala napapaghandaan ang sakit na mararamdaman? I’ve lost my 2 younger sisters but the lost of my mother is very tragical… An unexplainable pain I’ve ever felt in my whole life… Iba siguro talaga kapag ang ina ang nawala.

But it looks like God has other plans with my family than we ever thought. I was just thinking that two long years of her suffering from pain is too much. At last, I know He heard my prayers so that my NANAY could take rest.

My NANAY died on February 19, 2011 in my sister’s house in Paombong, Bulacan at 4:25 pm…

The things went like this:

- Last February 18, Friday at 6pm, I received a desperate phone call from my sister and told me to come as fast as I could because my NANAY’s condition was not okay…

- When I came, I sat down beside my NANAY’s bed and holding her hand while running my right hand on her forehead. The same way she did when I was small especially when I got sick. I didn’t hold my tears because at that very moment, I know my NANAY was starting to say goodbye to us. My family gathered that night. I and my older brother lied down beside her bed. While we were talking, my mom called my name and my brother was surprised because she couldn’t able to talk or eat for almost 3 days. I hurriedly held her hands and asked why. But unfortunately, she did not respond instead she pressed my hand slightly.

- At about 8:30 am on the following day... February 19, Saturday, I have found out that she has a big bed sores on her lumbar area and upper back which made me cried out loud. According to my sister, those huge bed sores could have been developed so quickly in just one day. I asked my family, “bakit inabot ni NANAY ang ganitong hirap? She doesn’t deserve this, sabi ko!” I asked them to rush my NANAY to the hospital but they refused… Sabi ng sister ko, “Ikaw bahala ate kung ano ang iniisip mong maganda. Pero para sa amin pag painaospital si nanay at kahit i ICU pa, madurugtungan lang ng konti ang buhay nya at makakaramdam pa ng sakit at hirap. Masakit man, hayaan na natin siyang magpahinga.” I tried to convinced myself na tama nga siguro ang kapatid ko but the pain was still there. Parang hindi ko kayang tanggapin na ganon na lang sya magpapaalam sa amin.

- At around 9:30 am, my sister called up their church pastor to come and asked him to pray for my mother.

- At 2 pm, the pastor came. He preached us about the importance of our mother in our life… Ang pagpapahiram ng Diyos ng buhay sa atin at ang pagbawi N’ya nito. Ang paghingi ng tawad at pagpapatawad.

- At 3:40pm, the pastor commanded us one by one to ask forgiveness for our sins and shortcomings to our mother. He prompted us that we have to do this so that our mother could forgive us before she goes back to our Creator. He shared a verse in the bible; As Jesus said, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." (Matthew 6:14).

-At 4:20 pm, I hold my NANAY’s hand and asked her to forgive me if I could have committed sins against her. I might not be a perfect daughter but I gave my best to my NANAY when she is still strong until the time that she’s dying. I thank her for all the wonderful things she has done to me, for her unconditional love and endless care. Sinabi ko; “Nay kung hindi dahil sa inyo, hindi ako ito ngayon… Salamat sa pag-aaruga at pagpapalaki mo sa akin… Sa pagpapa-aral at paghubog sa akin na maging isang mabuting anak at mabuting tao.” While I'm saying those words, tears were coming from her eyes… I wiped it and kissed her forehead while holding her hand…

- After a few minutes, at 4:25 pm to be exact, SHE’S GONE! Sobrang sakit ng naramdaman ko parang malalagot ang aking hininga. That’s the way how God took her from us. But I thank HIM because my dear mother is finally HOME!

Now, I just wish for the day when I think about my NANAY without crying but think of her good memories with us. But pain is still here… I wish there could be a fast relief to ease the pain in my heart.

She was the most wonderful person in the world. I’m saying this not because I am her daughter but she really deserves such kind of compliment. During her wake/interment, I was hoping that other people could speak only good words about her. But it doesn't matter if they gave her negative comments or not... For me, my mother is the best among the bests.

May she rest in peace together with our dear Creator…

I will never forget her… her kindness… her love… She will always be in my heart. SOBRANG MAHAL NA MAHAL KO SI NANAY!!!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY BELOVED INANG! PAALAM!!!