MISERY

If you are my friend you may believe that I am a jolly person and always full of energy because of my strong personality and behavior especially when I am along with my friends, acquaintances and colleagues. The truth is that I have low energy almost every day especially when I am alone. BUT it is also true that I know how to bring myself back on track when I’m feeling down. I can’t find the right person whom I can entrust my secrets because nowadays “true friends” are really hard to find. I don’t have parents or family that usually serves as our hiding place when we are in trouble. Only my husband is the one who always here to encourage me... to give me moral support... and to make me feel truly loved. How I wish to run to my mother especially in time like this that I am in trouble. But where is she? Does she completely neglected me or had forgotten me already?

Since my childhood up to present, pains due to personal problems are always with me. I would like to escape from my frustrated memory. I still remember that day during my teenage years… something happened… After a long, long years, I have found myself still running away from that miserable memory. I would like to escape from it but how can I do that if the shadow of that incident is always following me and unceasingly make me emotionally drained? It seems that nowhere I could go to escape… I just ask myself… Do am I not good enough as human being to suffer from this misery? As my friends quoted me, “I am friendly, easy and fun to be with, kind, thoughtful and a God fearing person”. Then, why I can’t find complete joy and peace in life?

But despite being miserable, I would say that I am still lucky because I have a “treasure” that nobody could be able to destruct and take away from me… And that is my very own family… my husband and my kid who are very supportive and never leave me instead they keep on staying beside me especially when I am feeling down and in trouble.